There are things I always remember.

     Yesterday was New Years Eve and I got wasted. I told my crush, which I introduced in my last two posts, how I felt about him. At this point he wasn't even a crush, but someone I liked deeply. I guess that is still a crush isn't it? Back to the main point, I told him to forget that I even told him anything. Want to know his words? Here are his exact words via wonderful iMessage:
    
     "d'awww this is like something out if an anime where the MC gets a confession :3
you're so sweet Elisa, and might I add you have great taste haha."
     Then he sent me a "Happy New Years Sydney" as it was meant for his cousin. Later he wishes me a Happy New Years and I continue to tell him to just forget about how I feel for him. Because come on, who could like this fat and ugly poor excuse for a human being.
   
     He continues to tell me how sweet it was of me. SOOOOO flat out rejection.
                           A few minutes pass as he then asks:
     "Just wondering, what in specific do you like about me?"
and there I went, pouring my heart out in a text message about why I have liked him for almost a year. I think it's been over a year. Who cares, because he doesn't.
So then that brings on about 2 hours of crying and me contemplating cutting again tonight after I'm done writing this.

     February 7th is the One OK Rock concert and after that I think I just may give up for good. Give up on life that is.
Death has always looked so pretty. (I'll probably chicken out though, lol.)
~Ri