Wade and I?

It's still not letting me write in the Compose part; I have no idea why, But I've been thinking of doing a blog series called, Wade and I. I'm not sure if you guys know but I love Spider-man...and Deadpool. I often feel as if Death is my best friend much like it was Wade's. So I feel a connection to a fictional character, sue me. (Okay, please don't sue me...even if it is a matter of speech...I'm broke.) Today we went on an adventure to go shopping (Please keep in mind that I don't imagine Wade Wilson with me; I simply wear a Deadpool shirt). Enough of that because we really didn't do much exciting... but my depression has been worse lately. On the bright side, there is some who interests my fancy at school. The dark side (once again) is that he doesn't like me back. I mean who could like something this fat and ugly. NO ONE. Enough with my retarded rant about absolutely nothing. I shall leave you all with a good day and I should be writing again very soon.

Oh! Happy New Year to everyone~

...

I feel as if this is the only site that I can express my true feelings on. Where to start? I've been having extreme anxiety attacks recently and my depression has worsened. I'm pretty sure these two are related; however, I don't know in which order. I've had high stress levels as well. It's gotten so bad that my hair is falling out. 

I haven't really though of self-harm at all, so I guess that's a good thing. Since I don't really have friends at school no one has noticed my change. Either I keep up a good mask or no one seems to care. It could be a combination of both. 

Cons of myself: I'm fat, rather ugly, annoying, anxiety attacks, and I 'have no heart. Don't forget the fact that if someone touches me I cringe. I've been wondering if this is because I'm asexual or a physiological problem. 

Pros: I have cats. 

On a (semi) brighter side, there's this guy at school that I like. Obviously he doesn't like me. I can dream can't I? 

I wish someone at school could notice my depression. I wish someone cared enough to notice. I'm just that one fat girl that has to turn side-ways to fit between rows of desks. 

Night.~ 

-Ri

One Ok Rock!~

So it has been a while since I last updated, but I hope it hasn't been too long. I recently started back to school, and it has been HELL. I mean it's not all too bad but my classes are kicking my butt. I'm not all too sure why I continue on this path, but I guess it's needed. Nothing new has really happened. From regular life to my love life. I have great news though! I got tickets to go see One Ok Rock in LA. Even though I have to miss that Friday of school, it's so worth it! Ahhhhhhhh! It's real. I get to meet the people who mean so much to me! The people who have saved me countless times. I'm so grateful to them for everything they have done. I didn't get VIP tickets. They sold out too fast for me to get since I was still at school...studying... Anywho! I have maintained straight A's so far... it's kind of scary... I have two projects due this week and honestly they're killing me. Plus I need to get more hours for Key Club because RTC is next weekend. I need 6 more hours by next Friday. My life is too much. Then I have bowling practice this week. Tuesdays and Thursday. OH HERE COME THE COSMO GIRLS. K, so I finally get to finish this post about 6 hours later. lol. So today during Autobody, we were applying primer to a truck that we hit with 80 grit then 150 grit then cleaned off with wax remover. Ok, enough of the technical terms. It was my turn to spray, and of course I get the top of the hood (and me being 5"5 doesn't mix). I mess up and my instructor calls me out. He corrects me. I finish. Later while it was time to leave this kid that was working on it with me pulls my instructor aside and was like "this is uneven" then points to the part where I sprayed it. Cool. Nothing like hitting me when I'm down. I shouldn't read into stuff like this too often, but yet I do. I don't know anymore. I really don't. I think I've lost. I constantly tell myself not to cry when I'm alone...and then I do. Enough of that. I think I'm going to head to bed now. Goodnight -Ri~ (for some reason compose isn't letting me write on it so I have to write on HTML and then it comes out as one big paragraph. Sorry! I don't know how to fix this. D: )

Kill me now, please.

So I have this killer headache from work and it pretty much sucks. It's passed the point of headache and it's now a migraine. My head sucks and is evil. 

Anywho, just a quick post while I'm getting ready to leave work. I don't know when my release will be here, but hopefully it's soon because I can't take much more of this. 

I have this urge to slap these children but I could never bring myself to do it. I feel sick now though. 

K I'm going to stop blogging now because eh, my head hurts so bad. 

There's pizza at home, yay.

My brother left for college today, and even though I'm not at home, I feel fairly lonely without him. Oh well.

Btw, here are the photos from my birthday. Enjoy? Oh, I had to redo my makeup 4-5 times that day because it wouldn't work well. It made me mad so I stuck with this piece of shit. 

~Ri. 

Wow

It has been a while since I last wrote a post. The last post was almost a year ago! I am strangely shocked at how I neglected this site. It's a good way to vent my feelings, even though I mainly do that on Twitter anyways.

Ok, so nothing new has really happened to me other than switching my school major. That's not really of any importance. Today is my birthday. Just another year closer to death, but then again every second is closer to death.
I'm not really sure where I'm trying to go with this.

Ahhhhh, my 'best friends' have forgotten that it is my birthday; however, there is no real surprise there. I won't let it get to me. Maybe they will remember later on in the day...or month... or year? They'll surely remember soon.

I have upped my fashion sense as of recently. I've bought cute shoes (mainly creepers) and nice skirts and dresses. I like to dress cute when if I may be plus sized. My body size doesn't bother me, although there are times that I wish I was skinnier. I'll post some pictures of some cute outfits tomorrow maybe?

Anywho, I'm too lazy to go and wash off the makeup that has been on my face for the majority of the day. If I don't I'll break out. I'm off to go do that now. Here was my little update of absolutely nothing~

-Ri.