Without a Trace

To be honest, it's like my heart is crushed. I had all these high hopes for summer and they came crashing down. I know I dreamed too high.
My best friend was suppose to come out from MI tomorrow, but that isn't happening. I was going to go to the 2NE1 Concert in LA, but that isn't happening. My Disneyland trip was suppose to be fun, that didn't happen.

It feels like someone took a hammer and crushed my chest area. My whole summer is now down the drain and I have nothing to do. I was going to go and explore, swim in water parks, walk down Fremont St., take a tour of The Strip, ride roller-coasters. It's really just a big let down. One after another.

She's coming out for two weeks in August, but I know that actually won't happen either. I can't make any other plans for summer because I don't have that many friends. Actually, I don't have any friends that live where I live. It's actually really sad.

I'll just sit here and feel sorry for myself.
It may seem like nothing, but to me it means a lot.
I'm going to stop crying now and suck it all up.

I'm just going to go and watch You're Beautiful. Yea that will help- at least I hope it will.

~Ri.

Untitled~

"I'm tracing these vile lies, browsing them with my lost gaze. Yea, I'm afraid of any word of objection. Still...I kneel down burdened."

-Ri~

It's been a month.

I'm sorry.
I've been so busy and crazy.
I only have 4 days of school left for this year. yay!
Next year I go to cosmetology school. I'm so nervous it's not even close to being funny anymore.

On the upside I got a new cat. I decided to pick a English name for him. With that said, I named him Shadow.
Shadow, Luna, and Hitsugi. He looks just like Hitsugi but bigger and older. Same eyes and everything. If I had a good picture of him I would post it. Sadly, I don't have one worth showing.

I rearranged my room so I have more walk space and to be honest after I rearranged my bed I've been having the best sleep ever. In this past month the sad and alone feeling hasn't really gone away. In these past few days it's actually gotten stronger. My mother and I have been getting into fights like non-stop. It's really annoying. Kat comes out in about 22 days and I have a Disneyland trip in 18 days. Plus all this non-stop cleaning and moving is going to make my brains burst. I have finals next week and a whole crap load of review packets to do this weekend. Yet, I sit here and type this all out instead of doing them. I've pretty much wasted my whole day watching Hana Kimi Special and Hana Yori Dango 2. With that said, I need a life.

I'm currently listening to Kalafina. Gloria to be specific. I think all the dramas I have been watching have been making me go crazy. My Milk Tea Brown by Palty that is on my hair has grown dull and I wish to change it. I'm thinking about doing my fringe a Bom Red and dye the rest back to dark brown. I want to wear my extensions again so that is why I won't go all red. I may though if I really feel like it. //is debating\\

I can't believe this school year went by so fast. I can't believe I'm actually going to Cosmetology school next year. I can't believe that when I finally made friends I would loose them fairly fast. Well I guess they weren't really my friends to begin with. More like Lunch people. Except Gabby, Taylor, and Ellie. My biggest fear for next year is not being accepted. Oh my, the constant thoughts of being made fun of. Well I guess I can't really talk much because of my overly-used sarcasm. Even if all fails next year I always have Kat and Nate.

I'm thinking about adding something to my GazettE wall. I just don't know what exactly.

I can't find any other Kalafina but ones with Kuroshitsuji refs. //is very disappointed\\
Not even Red Moon. //cri\\

I guess this will be all for now.
Till later<3
~Ri.